To Whom it May Concern:
Since last Monday I have placed no less than five telephone calls to the 46th Ward Office of Streets and Sanitation asking to please remove the discarded clown laying on the sidewalk outside of my apartment building. It is not clear whether the circus performer is alive or dead. I poked it with a broom handle and it emitted a bicycle-horn-like squeak, but Lord knows what that indicates!
My neighbors and I are hard working people. We take great pride in in our neighborhood. The last thing we want is for others to view it as a dumping ground for any clown who has reached its expiration date. Did I mention that it is beginning to give off an unpleasant odor of old funnel cakes and wet saw dust? I'm no public health expert, but I would think its lingering presence presents something of a health risk.
This problem is not going to take care of itself. What more must a person do to get a response from the Department? If I do not received a call back by the middle of next week then I will seek redress through local media. I am certain they would be more than happy to report on yet another instance of our tax dollars not at work.
1423 Cavatappi Blvd.
Chicago, IL 60699