Hard-boiled Birthday Party - Handmade Collage

I'd operated in this crummy burg long enough to compile a Who's Who of Muscle and Miscreants. Every stooge, stoolie and dope fiend despised my ugly mug, but no more or less than our colorful array of pervert city officials and corrupt cops. I was just settling in for the evening to welcome my forty-seventh birthday with my only true friend, Johnnie Walker when there was a knock at my door. I raised my aching bag of bones from the chair and made my way to the door. I withdrew my 38 and opened it a crack. Standing there was a two-bit informant who went by the name of Twitch O'Manolin. Twitch was his usual bundle of nerves. "Hey, can I step in. I got something I got to tell you." I tried to size him up. "No deal. No reason you can't state your business from out there in the hallway." Twitch seemed desperate, eyes darting from side to side. "Come on you big j'moke. This is big news." I stepped back from the door. "If you pull any funny business, I'll bust your chops." I reached forward to grab the doorknob and the door swung open knocking me on my keester. There was a rush of footsteps and I found myself attacked from all sides. Bodies leapt upon me and in a moment I was blindfolded and pulled to my feet. A galoot stood behind me pinning my arms to my side. By the smell of the heavy cologne it was Pansy DuChamp. Someone stepped in front of me and poked me in the chest. "Tough guy. You're a big man now!" The voice, like a bag of gravel, was unmistakable. "Carrucchio," I said. "That's right Big Boy. And do you know why we're here?" I had thought of all my run ins with the two-bit hood. "Payback time," I offered. Carruchio stepped close to me. "Now, that's your problem my boy. You don't recognize how everyone feels about you." I knew this was going to take an ugly turn. Carruchio called out, "Spin him around boys." The next thing I know hands are spinning me around in circles. A lummox grabs my hand and puts something that feels like a long strip of paper into my paw. "Do it!" the room shouted. "Pin the tail on the donkey!" That's when it hit me. The whole putrid world that I moved in had stopped by to celebrate my birthday. I didn't get near that wretched paper pack animal on the wall, but I was lucky to be wearing that mask. It soaked up all the tears falling like so many stray bullets from my eyes. When the mask came off, the whole gang was there and we laughed about old times and ate cake until the sun came up.