A New Me - Digital Collage 4" x 6"

I guess I got what was coming to me. Iwas complaining to Julie and Tricia how tired I am of running into people who tell me "I thought you were dead." "Well, Daddy," Julie said, "Maybe if your wardrobe wasn't cryogenically frozen in the 1970s people might start noticing you more." What can I say, I'm no clothes hound. Never been. I've always had other things to attend to above my appearance. And I won't lie to you that whole Kennedy debate debacle where everyone made so much of my looks cut deep.I may not be photogenic, but that's no reason I shouldn't have been elected.

I told Julie. "Clothes can't change me." Tricia piped up, "You are so wrong Daddy. Haven't you seen Queer Eye for the Straight Guy?" Well, she went on to explain to me about this television show where five fellas update the look of regular Joes like me. What I didn't know at the time was that the girls had contacted the television show and arranged for them to sweep down on me. Well, these young fellas who reminded me of that crowd Hoover hung out with show up at the house, kick out Pat and the girls and spend two days coaching me. They explained by updating my look they weren't trying to change me, but instead let my inner beauty come out. . .whatever the hell that means. Well, I was darn skeptical about them dying my hair blonde and telling me to give up the Vitalis and comb for something called styling wax and zshousing which I guess is just the young people's slang for what we used to call touseling.

While, the Boys threw out a lot of my old wardrobe they said my old bowling shirts showed that I had a certain eye for casual ware flair.Building on this foundation, they found a few unconstructed suits for me. I won't kid you that I loved these new suits. I believe I may have even referred to them as bumwear, but then they made me try them on. And well, I'll be honest with you when I first saw myself in the mirror my first thought was "Where's that pretty boy Kennedy now?" All I can say is that you can bet your bottom dollar that you'll be seeing a lot more of the new and improved Dick Nixon in 2005.